I HATE THE WNBA AND I’M PROUD TO SAY IT!!

Saturday afternoon the WNBA began its 12in season with the Los Angeles Sparks defeating the Phoenix Mercury 99-94. One of the few (if only) players that can hold my attention for more than thirty seconds, Candice Parker, had a sparkling rookie debut scoring 34 points, grabbing 12 rebounds and 8 assists. It was truly an impressive debut for Parker who had a historic career at the University of Tennessee.

I’m glad that Parker is bringing her star power to the WNBA and playing well. I’m glad the WNBA is giving women who can play basketball the opportunity to make a living doing just that. Every year it seems the players are getting better and better and I think that’s great.

With all that being said, let me make this statement and I mean this sincerely…I HATE THE WNBA!!! I will never watch a WNBA game because it is bad basketball played by unattractive women. There’s really nothing more and less than that. The style of play is unwatchable, the level of play compared to the men’s game is nowhere close, and the constant barrage of commercials shoving this basketball manure down my throat is very annoying. The only thing that gets me more irritated than having my viewing of a NBA game interrupted by one of the WNBA commercials you see below, is when I have to read and listen to female columnists (cause there are no men pushing the cause for this crap) who try to shame us into thinking that the woman’s game is just as good as the men’s game but us male sport fans are to narrow minded and to chauvinist to appreciate the nuances and differences.

Ladies, let me explain something to you. I don’t watch or like the WNBA because IT SUCKS!!! People don’t watch your product because your product IS NOT APPEALING!! Is there some resistance from some due to the fact that you’re women? Of course there is, but lets be clear, that is a very small percentage. The overwhelming majority thinks YOUR PRODUCT SUCKS!!!

Listen to these commercials by WNBA players Cheryl Ford and Tamika Catchings. They are trying to give male sport fans the guilt trip playing the MEN ARE NARROW MINDED CHAUVINIST PIGS card. Ford starts off with “Let’s be honest, you’re rec league team would smoke us chicks without working up a sweat“. First of all, what male still uses the word “chicks”? After throwing out other demeaning stereotypes about women athletics, she goes back to the rec league to end her point with “We want no part of your rec league team, believe that“. The ending tag lines is EXPECT GREAT…OH SHUT UP AND GO!!

 

At least the promo they wrote for Tamika Catching had some truth in it. It starts off with her making the statement “No offense, women’s basketball is a joke“. That’s the most truthful statement I’ve heard come out of that league in 12 years!! She ends by saying, “If you want to see real basketball, don’t watch me”. I couldn’t agree with her more.

 

Here’s the best advice I can give the WNBA. You want to get sport fans to watch your product? The main point you gals are missing in your marketing campaigns, is the belief that people are interested in the game itself. As I’ve said many times, women’s basketball is a bad commodity to try and sell to the sport fans of America. It’s slow, sloppy, boring and unattractive to the masses. I can’t think of anything more painful than to watch these ladies lumber up the court in slow motion only to throw another brick at the rim, or make another unforced turnover.   

Don’t put on the court females who can play basketball but whose looks would make a man go legally blind for two minutes. The WNBA has too many ugly women in that league!! If you’re going to give us bad basketball, at least give some attractive women doing it!!

In my opinion, you find the most attractive, sexy female athletes you can find and put them on the court. I guarantee you’ll sell out almost everywhere you go!! Make sure the uniforms are short and tight and get lots of close-ups!!

Hey, don’t get mad at me, I’m trying to sell a product and sexiness sells. What, you think Anna Kournikova was getting all that attention because men were enthralled with her ground strokes and net coverage? HELL NO, it was because she was an attractive girl!!! No one cared that she couldn’t beat the top players in the world…It was, “who cares, look at her”. So if you want the WNBA to prosper, find yourself some sexy women.

All I have to say is this. Candice Parker might be the best WNBA player right now and with the Sparks, could go undefeated and be the greatest team that league has ever seen. But be honest and answer me this question. Look at MY WNBA STARTING FIVE  and tell me which team you would like to watch. I got the hottest female athlete going right now in Jelena Jankovic at the point, Jennie Finch at swing forward, Amanda Beard at shooting guard, Serena Williams at power forward, and Gabrielle Reece in the middle. That team could go 0 and forever and lose every game by 40 points and they would outdraw every WNBA team combined (that team might outdraw the Atlanta Hawks!!). Call me what you want when it comes to the WNBA. It’s bad, unwatchable basketball and I’m not afraid to say it.